Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Chuck Norris and Homeschooling

Chuck Norris homeschools. Really, he does. From Kitchen Table Math:

Our twins are homeschooled. That is the present educational option we have chosen for them and us.


See?

It got me wondering just how he homeschooled. I decided it was time to plunder Chuck Norris Facts for a clue.

Language Arts:

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Math:

-If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chemistry:

-Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Physics:

-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Biology:

-There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

History:

-Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

-Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

Art:

-Chuck Norris paints in shades of black and blue. With his fist.

Phys Ed:

-Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor.

Philosophy:

-There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.


Religion:

-The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

Consider yourself educated, Chuck Norris style!

PS: I made up one of those facts. Which one?

9 comments:

Dana said...

Thanks for the smile. : )

Dawn said...

You're welcome Dana!

Independent George said...

Now, when he says twins, is he talking about his fists?

Mike the PCRobot said...

LOL, thanks for the laugh Dawn!
- pcrobot from MaxPC

Dawn said...

George - Oh damn! I wish I'd thought of that! :)

concernedCTparent said...

Dawn,

Well done!!!

molytail said...

haha, awesome! :-)

Anonymous said...

I've got one more for religion. When God said "let there be light" Chuck Norris said, "say please."

TigerofMu said...

That was funny :)